Article of Faith #2

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression.

I 100% believe in the atonement of Jesus Christ. I believe that we are experiencing this earth life to receive sacred ordinances and make covenants with Heavenly Father, so we might progress both spiritually and temporally, because all temporal things are spiritual. I believe that all people can repent, be made clean, and have the Holy Spirit be with you as a guide- an infinite amount of times.

We're having a family situation right now, and I just needed to remind myself that I have a testimony of this. Everyone can change. We can do hard things. Everyone can repent. All because of Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Fasting

I am on a facebook fast. I could feel it taking over my life, I could feel myself giving in to people's opinions, and I could feel a void in my personal relationships.

This semester I am starting the Pathways program through BYU-Idaho. It is an online program that takes a year to complete and includes a life-skills, math and English class, paired with a religion course each trimester. After this program, you can apply to BYU-I online courses at the discounted rate, just like if you were living on campus. It's such a blessing to my family to be able to have such an affordable education program available. There's no way we would possibly be able to afford school for me otherwise!

I feel like a facebook fast is just what I need in order to be successful in my schooling. I want to be able to concentrate and focus on the commandment to gain an education. I'm absolutely thrilled for this new adventure!

mission: just serve

This week's mutual was a joined Young Women activity but it was still by class. I had so much fun and I know the youth did too, plus there's something about a good hearted competition that unites a team (or class in this case) like none other.

Each class competed as a team. Everyone had 7 "missions" to complete. They were all the same missions, but in different order so we weren't on top of each other, and some of the houses we were going to serve at requested we be there before a certain time. With each "mission" there was a scripture they needed to read before moving on to the directions.

• Dinner:  Mosiah 4:26. "26 And now, for the sake of these things which I have spoken unto you—that is, for the sake of retaining a remission of your sins from day to day, that ye may walk guiltless before God—I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants."

 We made a freezer meal for the compassionate services committee that they could use for an "immediate need" type of situation. Such an easy recipe- 2.5 cups of cooked rice, 1 cup of cream of mushroom, a bag of frozen veggies, and 1 cup of cheese. Thaw overnight in the fridge, and bake @ 350 for 25-30 minutes.

• Yardwork: Genesis 3:17-18. "17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
   18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;" They needed to do a minimum of 5 minutes. We had a group take such pride in their work that they didn't want to quit until they were done and stayed for 20 minutes! They're so amazing!
• Letters to less active girls: Matthew 10:5-6. "5 These twelve Jesus sent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not:
   6 But go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

 Each team reached out to two girls that we would love to see at more activities and on Sunday, to let them know they are loved and missed.

• Vacuuming: D&C 109:8. " 8 Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;"

We went to three homes and helped them keep a "house of order" by vacuuming their great room.

• Bathrooms: D&C 42:41. "41 And let all things be done in cleanliness before me."

The Laurels took the women's, Mia Maids took the Men's, and the Beehives took the two Individual Bathrooms.

• Trash: 1 Thess. 4:7. "7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness."

Each group had to pick up 5 pieces of garbage.

• Treat: D&C 107:15. " 15 The bishopric is the presidency of this priesthood, and holds the keys or authority of the same."

We found out from the wives of our bishopric what their favorite treats were and delivered it to them.

The rules were simple enough:

Obey the law: seat belts and speed limits.

Pray in the houses you serve.

Everyone participates.

Take a picture of every task.

Be back at the church by 8:15.

It was so fun to see the girls involved in a service activity- especially to hear the Beehives went above and beyond for one family's garden. Service is such a great way to show people that they are loved and thought of, not just by us, but by Heavenly Father.

I  didn't make this but it sums up the intentions for our activity quite well :)

2 babes, 5 years- reminiscing

In June of 2011 I made the decision I was going to be a Mormon. I knew fairly little about the church, but I felt like it was the correct thing to do. I had just gone on a trip to Nueva York and my husband had told me to "get it together or don't come home." While that seems harsh, it was truth. I needed to get it together, but I had no idea how. I said a prayer (an atheist with a hope that someone was listening), got an invitation via Facebook to go to a baby blessing, asked my friend if I could return the next Sunday, and the rest was history. On my 3rd Sunday my friend suggested I start meeting with the missionaries. I was totally a Golden Investigator. You're welcome, Elders. I just wanted to KNOW about what I believed in before I got baptized, so it took some time- 3 months.

I was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, into the most amazing ward. Fellowship was critical- and they truly met the mark. I was 9 months pregnant, mind you. When I finally (42 weeks) had my babe I was so overwhelmed with the love and support I felt from my church members. I had gals bringing over meals, coming to check on me, sister missionaries getting my fussy babe to finally sleep, and folks offering to hold my babe, admiring ALL that hair! This is just the norm for Saints. They see a need and then step up!

We moved to Arizona and got a little lost in the shuffle. But that's ok, they made up for it eventually and now it's just as much "home" as our San Diego ward.

Today we're in Arizona, 5 years ago to the day, at another baby's blessing. I've been reminiscent, code word for weepy, about how far we've come as a family in 5 short years. My husband was baptized 2 years and 10 days after I was. So many people, near and far, previous missionaries and their family came out to support our family. They could see the potential our family had to make it to the temple, and were there to celebrate that with us. My husband was able to baptize my daughter when she turned 8. It was so sweet. We were sealed later that year, and just as many, if not more friends, definitely more Elders, were there to witness our covenant in the temple of the Lord, to be sealed as a family for time and all eternity. How AWESOME is that?

Now we hold callings that help prepare the youth to make and keep temple covenants and we take this charge to heart. We know that being a covenant keeping person is hard work. REALLY HARD WORK. It also means never giving up. Saying "I tried," doesn't cut it. Past tense means you are no longer trying. It means you gave up. Don't give up! Dust yourself off and keep at it. It is so worth every effort, every tear shed, every late night prayer.

I never thought one prayer would lead to so much goodness. I could have never imagined the love and peace I have been shown. I see miracles on the daily- one of our YW is going on a MISSION! WHAT?!?! There were so many new infants at church today that my baby fever came back in full force. Miracles, I tell you! There is so much good in the world, regardless of what the media is depicting- and it all comes from a loving Heavenly Father.


I hope you get the chance to feel the same type of love and joy that my family is experiencing through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. If you're interested, you can learn more at lds.org

love is patient

This past month or so I've been struggling with my calling- I'm currently serving as the Young Women's president. I am certainly in over my head! I'm having the pleasure of overcoming cattiness and attitudes with a couple of the girls resistant to change. In my heart I was feeling like I need to ask to be released, remove this bitter cup, but I know what President Eyring says regarding when we don't serve our calling wholly (spiritual peril) and what my Patriarchal Blessing says about me serving faithfully IN YOUNG WOMEN'S ... it's THAT specific (my children will never leave the church.) Those are way heavy burdens! I'm choosing to press on.

Yesterday, we had a stake youth temple day and today I can feel just how much love Heavenly Father has for each one of us. The brother who led our chapel session talked about how each of the youth only get 4 names to baptize now, rather than 5- a recent change. He said he knew we were faithful enough that if we knew that one person in the spirit world had accepted the gospel and our stake president made a phone call to all the youth that we would make this a priority and make it down to the temple and perform this one person's baptism. We know how important this is to our exaltation and we would want this person to have access to baptism.

When we got out of the temple I got a message from my good friend who said she grew up with one of my counselors and had only good things to say about her family, especially her mother, who is currently my relief society president. My friend said "Momma" was her Young Women's President and eventually her Visiting Teacher. "Momma" helped shape the spiritual powerhouse my friend is today.

I met my friend while working at some little fabric store. We had samples of her work displayed in the store and they were FAB-U-LOUS! I "knew" how to sew but I wanted to really KNOW, so I asked her if I could apprentice with her. I was a new member of the church and it was so nice to work with someone with a testimony, and that we could have long, meaningful, gospel centered conversations while we worked. At the time I was struggling with the notion that I needed a divorce because my husband wasn't a member. What did this mean for my family on an eternal platform? I longed for an eternal marriage, and my husband was so against the idea of joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that I thought it would never happen. I found great solace in 1 Corinthians 7:13-15

 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Phew! I could stay with my unbelieving husband! My friend knew this and was encouraging all along, and when I read this and the Spirit confirmed the truthfulness to me, I was glad I finally knew this too.

Finding out that my friend knows "Momma" is just such a testament to me that this is the true church of Jesus Christ, the same as he established when he walked this earth. He sowed the seeds of my faith long before I had any interest or knowledge in the church, they all started sprouting around the time a child is usually baptized, age 8. When I worked for my friend she had made the comment that I came down to the earth without the gospel because Heavenly Father knew I would be strong enough to search it out and accept it. Right now I feel like my friend and Momma are such little angels- I'm grateful that their testimonies are firmly rooted and they have endured faithfully, so that I could likewise have such a strong testimony.

I can suddenly see my calling through completely different eyes- maybe I'm not serving these youth for today's trials, maybe I'm serving their friend in 20 years. Maybe that friend needs to hear the gospel, or have her marriage strengthened, or have a mommy friend they can share all their cares with. The Lord loves you. He will wait patiently for a moment when you will be willing to hear Him calling you to the path. His love is patient. He wants you in His Heavenly home once again.

a seed is a seed

It's 2 am and I'm a scattered, hot-mess.

When I think of a seed I immediately think of a flower.  Eventually this flower will be beautiful, fragrant, and bring joy to onlooker, as it receives the proper nourishment, sunshine and water. Flowers can evoke emotions, and return memories.

Unfortunately, weeds and thistles are also spread by seeds. Sometimes it only takes a flash of sunlight for the seed to be nourished. Sometimes the wind spreads the seeds, like is the case with the dandelion.

In our house we have experienced both kinds of seeds. We have had the seeds we hope and pray will take root and one day grow to flourish- that we might look on with pride and amazement. And we have also had the seeds we hope don't see the light of day- that we pray have no staying power in our family. That we pluck out of our family tree.

Today in our scriptures we chose to read out of The Book of Mormon, in Helaman 2 and 6. These chapters talk about Gadianton, Kishkumen and their band of robbers and murderers. Read here and here. There are about 24-26 years between these chapters. There was peace for 24 years, before contention was reintroduced into their society and before the gravy hit the fan.

Satan is patient. All he has is time, and all he wants is to distract you enough to get you to hold loosely to the Iron Rod; To feel comfortable letting go from time to time- because you know where it is, you could grab back on at any moment, right?

Someone once told me that in the gospel you are either moving towards Christ or you are slipping towards Satan. There is no stagnation. You're always in motion and you get to choose which direction you're headed. I want to be headed towards Christ. I want to be supportive of my husband in his work, calling and as leader of our household. I want to nurture my children and see them through the Father's eyes. I want to celebrate their successes and help them correct their wrong doings. I want to live up to my potential outlined in my Patriarchal Blessing. I want to magnify whatever callings I might have throughout my life, and serve with a full and dedicated heart. I want the flowers to bloom and the weeds to wither.

One of my favorite scriptures is found in 1Nephi 15 Verse 27

"And I said unto them that the water which my father saw was filthiness; and so much was his mind swallowed up in other things that he beheld not the filthiness of the water."

I don't want to be so naïve as to think their isn't filth around me each and everyday. I want to be so in love with the good, so engulfed in good works, so optimistic, full of faith and hope, that I can't give Satan the time of day.

I pray that my family will flourish.

speaking in church

Today I gave a talk on repentance in sacrament meeting. I wasn't sure how it was going to go, but I think it went ok. I had a gentleman approach me and ask for my talk, so I hope those scriptures and talks I referred to help him through the repentance process and ultimately closer to Christ. That was my one mission from Bishop- bring people to Christ. Tall order, there!

 Repentance:

What is sin?

James said: “ To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.” John described sin as “all unrightousness” and “the transgression of the law.”

Because of the fall of Adam, all of us are going to live a life where we sin. In Moses, the Lord tells us that “All men, everywhere, must repent.” Except for Jesus Christ who was perfect, all of us are required to ask for forgiveness through Christ’s atoning sacrifice.

President Spencer W. Kimball said: “ There is no royal road to repentance, no privileged path to forgiveness. Every man must follow the same course whether he be rich or poor, educated, or untrained, tall or short, prince or pauper, king or commoner.”

What is repentance?

Repentance is the way provided for us to become free of our sins and be forgiven. When we delay the repentance process our spiritual growth can be slowed down or come to a complete stop.

 Ever face the question “Can ye feel so now?” and not be able to answer that with a strong affirming yes? I bet if you took a step back and really evaluated your thoughts and actions, there is something hindering your growth in the gospel that could be solved by asking for forgiveness, or by forgiving someone who has wronged you.

·         Recognizing sin

In order to repent we must first admit that we have sinned. I really like what Alma says as he counsels his son Corianton, who was unfaithful in his missionary service and commited serious sins. I’m going to read the scripture and then break it down for you.

“Let your sins trouble you- When you have a broken and contrite spirit and are truly looking to do the Lord’s will, it will honestly bother you when your actions and His will are not perfectly aligned.

“with that trouble which shall bring you down to repentance- In order to get back in line with The father’s will, you will need to have a change of heart, and want to pray for forgiveness and the strength needed to forsake your sins.

“do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point” He’s telling you to fully own up to your sins. Don’t justify yourself. Don’t apologize and add the “but”…. I mostly follow the Word of Wisdom, but I occasionally have a cappuccino. I only watch movies with partial nudity, but I don’t look at pornography on the internet. I participate in my calling, but I don’t go out of my way to go above what is being asked of me.

·         Feeling sorrow for our sins

In addition to recognizing our sins we need to feel bad and know that our sins were terrible. Godly sorrow makes you want to repent. Not only is repentance necessary for salvation but it allows the refiner’s fire to work in us. Whereas guilt just makes you feel less than, and mope about- not really doing anything to correct yourself.

·          Confessing our sins

The Lord has promised, “I, the Lord, forgive sins, and am merciful unto those who confess their sins with humble hearts.” (D&C 61:2) We must confess all our sins to the Lord, but serious sins, such as adultery, fornication, homosexual relations, spouse or child abuse, and the sale or use of illegal drugs, which might affect our standing in the Church, must also be taken up with the Bishop.

What should we do when we know of someone else’s sins?

Elder Lynn A Mickelsen of the seventy has some great ideas:

1. Don’t judge. Leave judgment to the Lord, the perfect judge. Let us not examine or explore others’ sins but look to their divinity. It is not ours to delve into others’ problems but rather to perceive the breadth of their goodness.

 2. We must forgive. Although we may have been personally wounded, the Lord said, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” 11

 3. Forget. A relentless memory can canker the most resilient spirit. Leave it alone; lay it down; put it away.

 If the wave of temptation to reveal others’ sins comes over you, don’t tell your neighbor or even your best friend. Go to your bishop. Leave the burden with him. If it is required, report it to the civil or criminal authorities and then leave it alone.

·         Forgiving others

Forgiving others is the hardest part of repentance for me, and yet this is such an important aspect of forgiveness. There are so many scriptures that echo the reasons as to why we need to be forgiving of others. D&C 64:9:

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. “ The word condemned makes me think of a run-down building. I think of all the maintenance needed to get this house into turn-key shape. Had the owner of the building just fixed the small leak in the pipes, would the basement had flood? If they had just washed the outside every once in a while would the paint be chipping? If they had just cleaned the gutters every season would there be so much water damage to the roof? When we procrastinate our repentance, we are putting off the work our spirit needs to become more Christ-like. The prophets have declared that “this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God.” We need to be quick to repent and thorough. There is no sin that can be hidden from the Lord, and as we repent often, the atonement is able to work in us, and we will grow to be stronger in our faith, family and callings.

When I was preparing to be baptized I spent many nights on my knees praying and literally crying asking for forgiveness. I had 25 years to resolve within just a few short months between the time I started taking missionary discussions and the date I had set for my baptism. Luckily I was in my 3^rd trimester of pregnancy and sleep was non existent because that became my opportunity to lay my cards out on the table before the Lord. One of the scriptures I had come across really struck a chord with me. I had a really strained relationship with my sister and hadn’t seen her in over a year, I hadn’t really gotten to know her husband yet, and that just really bothered me. I knew after reading this scripture that I was going to need to resolve things between us before I could worthily partake of my baptismal covenants.

The scripture was 3Nephi 12:24 and it reads: “Go thy way unto thy  brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.”

That’s a pretty blunt “get it together” from the Lord and I knew I needed to make changes and I needed an opportunity to mend our relationship. That’s exactly what I prayed for, and then there was a knock on the door. My sister was there with her husband, asking me and my family over for dinner.  I couldn’t believe it and it was just one of those miracles during my early conversion that just really let me know that if I have the desire to repent and make restitution, the Lord is going to provide a way for me to do so.

There’s another scripture that is less… intimidating, but it invites you to keep the Lord up-to-date with all your doings, and it’s something I encourage my children to do.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God, and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”

I look at that scripture, which was Alma 37:37 in two different ways, one being: Literally take the end of the day to pray to Heavenly Father and confess all your sins, share your highlights and low lights of the day, pray for protection while you sleep, and pray again in the morning. But I also see it in a more symbolic way: that while you are praying, knowing that you are imperfect, pray for your future-not-always-humble-and-quick-to-repent self, that the Lord might protect you from temptation and when you are “asleep” to the Spirit’s prompting, that you will once again be able to discern right from wrong. And when you come to that point, that you can be full of gratitude to be worthy of having the Spirit as your companion, that you might continue to have a bright spirit about you and that your desire to sin will lessen. Sometimes I’m great at repenting in the moment, and sometimes I need to pray to know what to repent about, to have the Spirit bring to my remembrance my short comings.

·         Restitution

If our sinful nature has affected someone else, we need to go and make it right with them. We must go and restore what we have taken, or if it’s a name that we have soiled, we need to go and undo anything we have done to tarnish their reputation. This is called restitution and is one of the final steps of the repentance process.

Ezekiel 33:15-16

15 If the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die.

 16 None of his sins that he hath committed shall be mentioned unto him: he hath done that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live.

Once we have completed restitution, we are promised that God will not mention our sins to us when we are judged.

·         Move forward

Now it’s time to move forward, to leave your sins with Christ, who has already carried that burden for you, and go on in obedience to God’s commandments. 

These last few weeks have been kind of a whirlwind in our house. My mother had a stroke, when we got her home from the hospital, we received word that a gal in her ward had an aneurysm and wasn’t going to pull through. That next week a childhood friend of mines mother passed away suddenly. What all these things made me remember is that this life is a gift, and it is so short and fleeting. Let us be quick to repent, thoroughly and fully. Let us not procrastinate, making repentance seem overwhelming and the grace of God seem so far distant. He is willing to forgive us immediately once we have confessed our sins. Let us forsake the YOLO mentality of today. (2 Ne. 28:8.)

“And there shall also be many which shall say: Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this; and do all these things, for tomorrow we die; and if it so be that we are guilty, God will beat us with a few stripes, and at last we shall be saved in the kingdom of God.”

Elder Oaks call these “attitudes and positions of such persons [as] exactly opposite those of the Savior.

I know that repentance, when done correctly and with the right heart, allows us to be immediately forgiven. I know that forgiving others, no matter how hard it might be, is a commandment from the Lord, and that strict obedience will allow us to stand spotless before him on judgement day. I know that Christ was sacrificed as a gift to us, so we would be able to repent and be perfected through his atonement.  I know that Christ lives and wants nothing more than to have you back home with him, and because you are a member of His church, I know that is also a sincere desire in your heart as well.

homesick!

I am homesick.

I officially miss Mesa.

I miss having a calling.

I miss being able to ship my kids off to their friends house so I can go to the temple, clean my kitchen or catch up on laundry.

I'm not wo as me-ing because things are good over here, too. I just miss Arizona people, not actual Arizona... If I could just transfer you all over that would be grand.

No. Nobody? Ok, well at least come visit!

Our humbling Easter

We miss our porter park people SOOO much that we have been back to Arizona  almost half the weekends we have spent out here, or have had porter park guests. If you are a porter parker, you are contractually obligated to come and visit and have a granny shack experience. We went back for Easter and had a blast. We cleaned the church, spent the day celebrating a friend's birthday, went to women's conference, our traditional ladies dinner at Chili's afterwards, and then had Family Home Easter with our regular FHE families. It was delightful. And then we left, and it was less delightful.

As we approached Quartzsite, my truck's cruise control started slowing down, so I turned it off and then was still having a hard time keeping my speed. We pulled over and immediately started over heating. Awesome. We were unprepared. Every time Rudy has gone out on a long trip for work I have sent him with my 72 hour kits, and naively never replenished then, so we had nothing. We waited for the car to cool down and made it another few miles before we started over heating again. As we stared straight into the upcoming hill we decided we would call AAA to take us into Blythe.

Unfortunately, we deposited Rudy's check on a Saturday evening and it wasn't available so we needed to be bailed out. Always humbling, and we're always grateful! So we stay in Blythe overnight and are just so grateful that we are able to finally get our kids some dinner and not have to sleep in the car. At least we had blankets if needed. The next morning we indulge in the free breakfast and snag some yogurts and danishes just in case we need them later. We go to kmart and stock pile water gallons, snacks and a pizza, and then head out after a minor hose repair. We know we need all the help we can get and say one last prayer before going down the open road. Talk about terrifying!

In between Blythe and Indio there is a 50 mile stretch where there are no amenities. We are burning through 2 gallons of water every 5-7 miles, and needing to stop and fill the bottles back up with nowhere in sight. We say a prayer and ask to find water. We find a well... that doesn't have a key or anyone around to assist us. So we just decide to drive in the shoulder going about 10 mph. There is a huge wind storm, but that was keeping everything cool enough that the water temperature wouldn't go into the red. We finally start noticing there are a ton of water bottles on the side of the road. Mostly filled with urine, but we start finding water ones and snatched those right up. We have enough to put in the car and make it to our next stop.

We fill up our gallons, but the post office didn't have a public restroom so we have to drive like 10 miles up the road. These 50 miles took us well over 4 hours, so this was a most necessary detour, especially with a 4 year old. Surprisingly nice bathrooms!

We get back on the road and it starts getting dark, which made me so nervous. But we remained prayerful and faithful. We got to Palm Desert area and that made me feel much better because from then it's constant civilization. Mind you, we're still pulling over every 10 miles to refill our water, and every 30 miles we need to stop at a gas station to refill our bottles. This is seemingly obnoxious, but we got our mojo and it was rather comical. A couple times we didn't bother exiting and filled up on the side of the road. One of these times a CHP officer pulls over to make sure we're ok and tells us to get off the freeway asap. We tell him ok, but we're still 40 miles from home, which in our ghetto situation is like HOURS! So we keep driving, because what else are we going to do?! So we get to Upland. 17 miles from home. And are pulled over and putting water in, and the car won't start. The battery is dead. The car survived 250 miles with water in the engine, but this battery can't make it another 17 miles??!! That SAME CHP officer pulls over and this time is less than cordial because he told us to get off the road hours ago. Whoops, sorry buddy. We call AAA, and we only have 7 miles of free towing and we have to pay the rest... which is fine except I told you about our crappy financial situation and once again need to be bailed out.

What an adventure.

5.5 hour trip was 30 hours. By the grace of God, the charitable hearts of our family, the AAA man who worked on Easter-away from his family, the sweet hotel workers, also away from their family on a holiday,  it's a miracle we made it home. We felt Heavenly Father's love for us and saw his hand in all the miracles along the way. That truck should not have made it home. There was water in the engine, when you checked the oil it was so watered down it would just slick off the dipstick. When you put water in it would create this giant white cloud of smoke until all the water was burned out.

During conference there was a quote and this might not be exact "wouldn't it be great if we could be humble without being compelled to be humble?" No joke. God is good, the gospel is true. I hope your Easter was less of an adventure, but that you could still feel the love of your Savior without being compelled so forcefully into humility :)

The serpent beguiled me

This is scattered, just deal with it.

I'm not going to spill the ins and outs of my marriage here, but I will say that it started out rocky and was tumultuous for 5 years. And not like rocky like the sea shore, more like sharp pointy rocks being thrown at you. How we survived is beyond me. How my husband stayed through the years of my terrible wife-dom is nothing short of a miracle. By any standard of the world, and even by the very human members of the church, we should NOT have survived. The serpent beguiled me. He led me to think good things were not worth trying for and I was tricked into believing that evil things were good. These misconceptions had me thinking I was a great mother, wife and friend- when really I was a walking nightmare. A hot mess. A fraud.

That being said, things are so different now and that would not have been possible if the atonement of Jesus Christ was anything but real. Jesus Christ loved us from before the time we came to this earth, he loved us while he was bleeding out of every pore during his crucifixion and he loves us everyday of our imperfect existence. He wants you to have an amazing and spiritual experience while you are here on this earth, but because there is opposition and free agency, there will be times when the serpent beguiles you- when you start to lose focus, or are stagnant in your testimony or service, or when you are having a downright tantrum and are mad at God and having a pity party for 1. Been there, done that. Beguiled, I tell you.

When Eve was beguiled by the serpent, she went to the Father and confessed of her sin, made a promise to forsake her actions, and then her husband chose to live out the consequences of her partaking of the fruit WITH HER. He chose eternal family. He chose her even though she was imperfect. He chose the will of God, even though that meant creating a new, unfamiliar life, and working extremely hard for everything from that point forward. He left Eden so he could experience hardships WITH his wife.

I have a few beautiful women in my life who's husbands have been beguiled. Satan knows our weaknesses and he uses those to bring contention into our hearts and in our families. He knows exactly what is going to tempt you and wastes no time in his scheming. He is so jealous of your experience here on earth that he will do anything to make you unworthy to live with your Father in Heaven again, to make you doubt his very existence, and to make you indifferent to your actions. It's always small at the beginning, usually a thought. You might find yourself carried away in thought, not even realizing he's pulling you closer to his side, further away from Christ and the Father's will. Things begin to snowball and before you know it, you're lost. Nothing around you is familiar, and you don't know how to find your way back.

Luckily, people are searching for you. Maybe you're on the search and rescue team and maybe you're the one who's lost. Either way, the atonement of Jesus Christ is real. You can be healed no matter what degree of brokenness you might be experiencing. You can be uplifted no matter how much sorrow you might be carrying in your heart. You can be happy regardless of life's difficulties.

He wants you. He loves you. He needs you to be his hands here on this earth. He needs you to recognize when the serpent is beguiling you and to walk away. He has faith you will choose him, choose everlasting life, and will live up to the sacred covenants we make in the holy temple.

My hope for my friends is that their husbands can see them as the godly women that they are. That they will be shown love and affection, and be appreciated for the hard work they put forth to making their household Christ-centered. That their short comings might be overlooked. That they can remember that they are divine, created in His image, of eternal worth, and know that this too, shall pass. I hope they are able to respond with grace when adversity and contention is before them, and that they can forgive their husbands whole-heartedly and move forward- in whatever direction that might be. That you might choose to go through this heartache with your husband, because you too, choose Christ's eternal family. I love you ladies, and I know you will find happiness wherever you are led, because you will seek goodness - you will seek Christ. The serpent beguiled your husband, and I hope they remember their power to overcome him through the atonement.

the blessings of visiting teaching

Once upon a time I visit taught the most wonderful family in the world. And then I moved and I could no longer be her visiting teacher. So she came out to California to make sure I could attend to my duties. She knows me well, I don't like missing a month. Visiting teaching is for every single month, every single member. A latter-day prophet said that, I have no wisdom.



I'm so glad she came out with her daughter, two of my former YW and a friend. As I cried my eyes out from the airport all I could think was, "Maybe I should have put a day in between these visits because I'm so sad, and now I have to be excited, and I don't know if I can turn the switch so quickly." And then I told Satan to get up out my business, because I love my girlfriends and their daughters and I WAS excited to see them. I just didn't realize I would be such a hot mess after Kie left. The minute we heard them roll up, all the sadness dissipated and it was pure happiness from then on out. We were on strict teenage schedule to get to the beach ASAP! Well, this is LA and you don't get anywhere ASAP lol, so an hour later we made it to Santa Monica. The pier is lovely, all the teens went on a rollercoaster and the littles went on this adorable hot air balloon spinning ride. We met Minnie Mouse. It was the best day of my little's life!

We went to the LA temple and basked in it's beauty. We sat in the Visitor's Center for longer than expected. It was great to feel the spirit and see all the girls come together even in their huge age gap (4-19) and just be girls who all love Jesus Christ. They all have the same goal to make it through those giant doors one day, to make covenants with a living God, who wants us all to be in eternal families. I love the temple. I love those girls. I want them to make it through those doors, too.

We had intended to do the Hollywood sign/Observatory that night too, but we were cold, wet and tired and decided to grab pizza and go home.

The Mr. didn't get home until 6 A.M. but wanted to come with us for a day of adventure. We went to Griffith Park, but we basically had to park at the bottom and hike to the observatory and that just wasn't possible on our teenager led schedule which had strict rules to be at the beach by noon. side note: later that night on the news they said a hiker found a skull on their trail, I'm just so grateful that WAS NOT US! I
can't imagine having to be responsible for that image burning in these girls' brain forever.

We went to the Hollywood walk of fame. I'm an expert now and knew the only place with names we would recognize and care about would be in front of the metro station.

And then we were off to Santa Monica again. I don't feel like the day was any different, but I am SOOOOO sunburned. Like Hawaii sunburned- I'm sure I have a picture of that somewhere, but maybe not. It's tomato red. It's painful. This too shall pass. We buried the Mr. in a hole and V as a mermaid. There are pictures.  We packed up and did the most California thing you could do- grab In-N-Out. And then we took them through LA on the 10 and they were off. It was a quick but fun trip. It was just what I needed to not sit in my "pity party for 1" after Kie left.

Thank you ladies for visiting and lifting my spirits.

Everyone else, go do your visiting teaching.

Bookends

I have very few friends from lives past that feel like home. Kie is one of those friends. We met while we both attended Foxcroft School, an all girls boarding school, many moons ago. We became the best of friends and then second semester we chose to be roommates. She is from Japan, but has lived all over the world, so we seldom see each other- but this week she came into town to see my family and me!

Foxcroft Fall 2000

I thought she would want to be crazy busy doing all the Hollywood things but she said her biggest thing was just coming to hang out with the Zunigas. Oh my melty heart. We of course did touristy things, but we also just sat and hanged out and ate. Our favorite past time.

Dress up!

She arrived on Tuesday at LAX. That's about an hour from my house. Everything in LA is an hour from my house because I don't live in downtown, and even if we were in downtown it would probably still take us an hour, let's be honest. We came home, dropped off her GIANT suitcase and she gave us gifts, she's so cute. Then we went to Griffith Park and went through all the exhibits at the observatory and took a million selfies in front of the Hollywood. I really have never been anywhere in LA, so I enjoyed this as much as she did. Griffith Park is BEAUTIFUL! If we lived closer I would be there all the time. It was daytime when we went, but a night trip to the observatory is a "definite" on my bucket list. We have a little mountain near us with an impeccable view of the city, so I'm sure it's amazing from the observatory. And que romantico to go with the husband!

As close as we got to the Hollywood sign

Three of my favorite people in the universe!

After that we went and walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not exciting. Stars in the cement with a bunch of people hustling tours and a crazy man that wouldn't pass us by, instead chose to walk at a snails pace with us in lieu of continuing around us. So we crossed the street and went into Juicy Wings... amazing milkshakes! and a much needed distraction from the crazy man.

Korean BBQ love

From there we sat in an hours worth of traffic. My husband said he would be home by dinner time, so our goal was to be home in time to meet him. We got home and made some frozen pizzas, but when he got home he wanted to go to our favorite sushi place. It's delicious, but taking a Japanese native to American sushi did not sound amazing, so I was glad that when we showed up it was closed on Tuesdays. We googled a Korean BBQ place and took a chance. It was heavenly and we certainly ate our monies worth. I think we impressed our waiter.

Literal frolicking at ALL TIMES

The following day we had a lazy morning and then got a text from my husband as we were about to leave for the beach. He said the ports were closed and he didn't have any work for the day. So we went to pick him up and decided to drive down to San Diego because I don't really know LA and our agenda was to sleep on the beach and eat good Mexican food because that's hard to come by in Japan. So we went to Solana Beach, my absolute favorite, and Pizza Port for lunch. I highly recommend The Carlsbad if you're ever there. We took all kinds of darling selfies, but let's get real, we sat in our tent and napped while wearing jeans and let the Mr. attend to the children and frolic in the waves. He's the best!

Pizza Port

The most patient sister award goes to....

We found this random board come to shore and couldn't find the surfer, it was a scary couple minutes but he eventually came up. phew!

This is how women in their 30's spend their time at the beach. hidden. in a tent...

...in jeans. hahaha

We went to my momma's house because she is out of town and went and got all of our favorite Mexican foods and Peterson's Donuts, because you can't go into Escondido and not get them. That would be treason. Our feast consisted of: street tacos (pollo, asada, pastor), carne asada nachos, rolled tacos with guac and cheese, chichirrone-the kind in the sheet, and horchata. Very healthy.


Thursday was our most relaxed day. After taking the Mr. to work we went to CalPoly Pomona because apparently it's all the rage to have US College shirts in Japan because all the clothing companies have made their way over. So we needed to get Kie's twin brothers some sweatshirts. and We went to Wal-Mart before that because they also requested cheap socks for their birthday. Talk about easy to please, such boys. Then we were off to the MALL. Our other favorite past time is shopping. Shopping in DC, shopping in NY, so why wouldn't we shop in LA? Technically it was in Ontario, but that's ok too. She got a few things, and even got a discount because I was wearing green for St. Patty's day. AWESOME! and ice cream. All shopping days require a little ice cream. Then we came home to a smorgasbord of left overs and watched Miranda videos.

Then she left in the Morning. I cried the entire way from the airport home. I know I'll see her again, I've sworn to be in Japan by my next birthday. It's happening. I want to meet her family and husband so bad! But still. I was definitely sad to see her go. I love her, she's the cutest! See you soon!

family picture

The 411

Hola!
Now that we have moved from Mesa, AZ to California I thought this would be a great way for me to stay connected, and also a great way for me to journal- because I'm fairly mediocre at it; as well as just "talk out loud," so to speak. I hope that this can be mostly a happy and real place- I have manic depression and sometimes things are not peaches and cream. That doesn't mean I'm not incredibly blessed and thankful for my trials, it means sometimes my search for happiness feels like I'm running on a hamster wheel. I'm LDS or Mormon, so a lot of my life has to do with serving in my church, raising my girls in a home that is Christ centered, and my growing faith through life experiences. You are free to skim over those if that's not your cup of tea (funny because Mormon's don't drink tea), I'm sure we'll have plenty of other adventures you'd like to read about. We homeschool, explore, live in 300 square feet, I've been married 10 years, and have two amazing daughters, I have zero answers to life's mysteries, but hopefully we can find some of those together.

Hasta la Pasta
Rosette