The serpent beguiled me

This is scattered, just deal with it.

I'm not going to spill the ins and outs of my marriage here, but I will say that it started out rocky and was tumultuous for 5 years. And not like rocky like the sea shore, more like sharp pointy rocks being thrown at you. How we survived is beyond me. How my husband stayed through the years of my terrible wife-dom is nothing short of a miracle. By any standard of the world, and even by the very human members of the church, we should NOT have survived. The serpent beguiled me. He led me to think good things were not worth trying for and I was tricked into believing that evil things were good. These misconceptions had me thinking I was a great mother, wife and friend- when really I was a walking nightmare. A hot mess. A fraud.

That being said, things are so different now and that would not have been possible if the atonement of Jesus Christ was anything but real. Jesus Christ loved us from before the time we came to this earth, he loved us while he was bleeding out of every pore during his crucifixion and he loves us everyday of our imperfect existence. He wants you to have an amazing and spiritual experience while you are here on this earth, but because there is opposition and free agency, there will be times when the serpent beguiles you- when you start to lose focus, or are stagnant in your testimony or service, or when you are having a downright tantrum and are mad at God and having a pity party for 1. Been there, done that. Beguiled, I tell you.

When Eve was beguiled by the serpent, she went to the Father and confessed of her sin, made a promise to forsake her actions, and then her husband chose to live out the consequences of her partaking of the fruit WITH HER. He chose eternal family. He chose her even though she was imperfect. He chose the will of God, even though that meant creating a new, unfamiliar life, and working extremely hard for everything from that point forward. He left Eden so he could experience hardships WITH his wife.

I have a few beautiful women in my life who's husbands have been beguiled. Satan knows our weaknesses and he uses those to bring contention into our hearts and in our families. He knows exactly what is going to tempt you and wastes no time in his scheming. He is so jealous of your experience here on earth that he will do anything to make you unworthy to live with your Father in Heaven again, to make you doubt his very existence, and to make you indifferent to your actions. It's always small at the beginning, usually a thought. You might find yourself carried away in thought, not even realizing he's pulling you closer to his side, further away from Christ and the Father's will. Things begin to snowball and before you know it, you're lost. Nothing around you is familiar, and you don't know how to find your way back.

Luckily, people are searching for you. Maybe you're on the search and rescue team and maybe you're the one who's lost. Either way, the atonement of Jesus Christ is real. You can be healed no matter what degree of brokenness you might be experiencing. You can be uplifted no matter how much sorrow you might be carrying in your heart. You can be happy regardless of life's difficulties.

He wants you. He loves you. He needs you to be his hands here on this earth. He needs you to recognize when the serpent is beguiling you and to walk away. He has faith you will choose him, choose everlasting life, and will live up to the sacred covenants we make in the holy temple.

My hope for my friends is that their husbands can see them as the godly women that they are. That they will be shown love and affection, and be appreciated for the hard work they put forth to making their household Christ-centered. That their short comings might be overlooked. That they can remember that they are divine, created in His image, of eternal worth, and know that this too, shall pass. I hope they are able to respond with grace when adversity and contention is before them, and that they can forgive their husbands whole-heartedly and move forward- in whatever direction that might be. That you might choose to go through this heartache with your husband, because you too, choose Christ's eternal family. I love you ladies, and I know you will find happiness wherever you are led, because you will seek goodness - you will seek Christ. The serpent beguiled your husband, and I hope they remember their power to overcome him through the atonement.