This is scattered, just deal with it.
I'm not going to spill the ins and outs of my marriage here, but I will say that it started out rocky and was tumultuous for 5 years. And not like rocky like the sea shore, more like sharp pointy rocks being thrown at you. How we survived is beyond me. How my husband stayed through the years of my terrible wife-dom is nothing short of a miracle. By any standard of the world, and even by the very human members of the church, we should NOT have survived. The serpent beguiled me. He led me to think good things were not worth trying for and I was tricked into believing that evil things were good. These misconceptions had me thinking I was a great mother, wife and friend- when really I was a walking nightmare. A hot mess. A fraud.
That being said, things are so different now and that would not have been possible if the atonement of Jesus Christ was anything but real. Jesus Christ loved us from before the time we came to this earth, he loved us while he was bleeding out of every pore during his crucifixion and he loves us everyday of our imperfect existence. He wants you to have an amazing and spiritual experience while you are here on this earth, but because there is opposition and free agency, there will be times when the serpent beguiles you- when you start to lose focus, or are stagnant in your testimony or service, or when you are having a downright tantrum and are mad at God and having a pity party for 1. Been there, done that. Beguiled, I tell you.
When Eve was beguiled by the serpent, she went to the Father and confessed of her sin, made a promise to forsake her actions, and then her husband chose to live out the consequences of her partaking of the fruit WITH HER. He chose eternal family. He chose her even though she was imperfect. He chose the will of God, even though that meant creating a new, unfamiliar life, and working extremely hard for everything from that point forward. He left Eden so he could experience hardships WITH his wife.
I have a few beautiful women in my life who's husbands have been beguiled. Satan knows our weaknesses and he uses those to bring contention into our hearts and in our families. He knows exactly what is going to tempt you and wastes no time in his scheming. He is so jealous of your experience here on earth that he will do anything to make you unworthy to live with your Father in Heaven again, to make you doubt his very existence, and to make you indifferent to your actions. It's always small at the beginning, usually a thought. You might find yourself carried away in thought, not even realizing he's pulling you closer to his side, further away from Christ and the Father's will. Things begin to snowball and before you know it, you're lost. Nothing around you is familiar, and you don't know how to find your way back.
Luckily, people are searching for you. Maybe you're on the search and rescue team and maybe you're the one who's lost. Either way, the atonement of Jesus Christ is real. You can be healed no matter what degree of brokenness you might be experiencing. You can be uplifted no matter how much sorrow you might be carrying in your heart. You can be happy regardless of life's difficulties.
He wants you. He loves you. He needs you to be his hands here on this earth. He needs you to recognize when the serpent is beguiling you and to walk away. He has faith you will choose him, choose everlasting life, and will live up to the sacred covenants we make in the holy temple.
My hope for my friends is that their husbands can see them as the godly women that they are. That they will be shown love and affection, and be appreciated for the hard work they put forth to making their household Christ-centered. That their short comings might be overlooked. That they can remember that they are divine, created in His image, of eternal worth, and know that this too, shall pass. I hope they are able to respond with grace when adversity and contention is before them, and that they can forgive their husbands whole-heartedly and move forward- in whatever direction that might be. That you might choose to go through this heartache with your husband, because you too, choose Christ's eternal family. I love you ladies, and I know you will find happiness wherever you are led, because you will seek goodness - you will seek Christ. The serpent beguiled your husband, and I hope they remember their power to overcome him through the atonement.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Sunday, March 20, 2016
the blessings of visiting teaching
Once upon a time I visit taught the most wonderful family in the world. And then I moved and I could no longer be her visiting teacher. So she came out to California to make sure I could attend to my duties. She knows me well, I don't like missing a month. Visiting teaching is for every single month, every single member. A latter-day prophet said that, I have no wisdom.
I'm so glad she came out with her daughter, two of my former YW and a friend. As I cried my eyes out from the airport all I could think was, "Maybe I should have put a day in between these visits because I'm so sad, and now I have to be excited, and I don't know if I can turn the switch so quickly." And then I told Satan to get up out my business, because I love my girlfriends and their daughters and I WAS excited to see them. I just didn't realize I would be such a hot mess after Kie left. The minute we heard them roll up, all the sadness dissipated and it was pure happiness from then on out. We were on strict teenage schedule to get to the beach ASAP! Well, this is LA and you don't get anywhere ASAP lol, so an hour later we made it to Santa Monica. The pier is lovely, all the teens went on a rollercoaster and the littles went on this adorable hot air balloon spinning ride. We met Minnie Mouse. It was the best day of my little's life!
We went to the LA temple and basked in it's beauty. We sat in the Visitor's Center for longer than expected. It was great to feel the spirit and see all the girls come together even in their huge age gap (4-19) and just be girls who all love Jesus Christ. They all have the same goal to make it through those giant doors one day, to make covenants with a living God, who wants us all to be in eternal families. I love the temple. I love those girls. I want them to make it through those doors, too.
We had intended to do the Hollywood sign/Observatory that night too, but we were cold, wet and tired and decided to grab pizza and go home.
The Mr. didn't get home until 6 A.M. but wanted to come with us for a day of adventure. We went to Griffith Park, but we basically had to park at the bottom and hike to the observatory and that just wasn't possible on our teenager led schedule which had strict rules to be at the beach by noon. side note: later that night on the news they said a hiker found a skull on their trail, I'm just so grateful that WAS NOT US! I
can't imagine having to be responsible for that image burning in these girls' brain forever.
We went to the Hollywood walk of fame. I'm an expert now and knew the only place with names we would recognize and care about would be in front of the metro station.
And then we were off to Santa Monica again. I don't feel like the day was any different, but I am SOOOOO sunburned. Like Hawaii sunburned- I'm sure I have a picture of that somewhere, but maybe not. It's tomato red. It's painful. This too shall pass. We buried the Mr. in a hole and V as a mermaid. There are pictures. We packed up and did the most California thing you could do- grab In-N-Out. And then we took them through LA on the 10 and they were off. It was a quick but fun trip. It was just what I needed to not sit in my "pity party for 1" after Kie left.
Thank you ladies for visiting and lifting my spirits.
Everyone else, go do your visiting teaching.
I'm so glad she came out with her daughter, two of my former YW and a friend. As I cried my eyes out from the airport all I could think was, "Maybe I should have put a day in between these visits because I'm so sad, and now I have to be excited, and I don't know if I can turn the switch so quickly." And then I told Satan to get up out my business, because I love my girlfriends and their daughters and I WAS excited to see them. I just didn't realize I would be such a hot mess after Kie left. The minute we heard them roll up, all the sadness dissipated and it was pure happiness from then on out. We were on strict teenage schedule to get to the beach ASAP! Well, this is LA and you don't get anywhere ASAP lol, so an hour later we made it to Santa Monica. The pier is lovely, all the teens went on a rollercoaster and the littles went on this adorable hot air balloon spinning ride. We met Minnie Mouse. It was the best day of my little's life!
We went to the LA temple and basked in it's beauty. We sat in the Visitor's Center for longer than expected. It was great to feel the spirit and see all the girls come together even in their huge age gap (4-19) and just be girls who all love Jesus Christ. They all have the same goal to make it through those giant doors one day, to make covenants with a living God, who wants us all to be in eternal families. I love the temple. I love those girls. I want them to make it through those doors, too.
We had intended to do the Hollywood sign/Observatory that night too, but we were cold, wet and tired and decided to grab pizza and go home.
The Mr. didn't get home until 6 A.M. but wanted to come with us for a day of adventure. We went to Griffith Park, but we basically had to park at the bottom and hike to the observatory and that just wasn't possible on our teenager led schedule which had strict rules to be at the beach by noon. side note: later that night on the news they said a hiker found a skull on their trail, I'm just so grateful that WAS NOT US! I
can't imagine having to be responsible for that image burning in these girls' brain forever.
We went to the Hollywood walk of fame. I'm an expert now and knew the only place with names we would recognize and care about would be in front of the metro station.
And then we were off to Santa Monica again. I don't feel like the day was any different, but I am SOOOOO sunburned. Like Hawaii sunburned- I'm sure I have a picture of that somewhere, but maybe not. It's tomato red. It's painful. This too shall pass. We buried the Mr. in a hole and V as a mermaid. There are pictures. We packed up and did the most California thing you could do- grab In-N-Out. And then we took them through LA on the 10 and they were off. It was a quick but fun trip. It was just what I needed to not sit in my "pity party for 1" after Kie left.
Thank you ladies for visiting and lifting my spirits.
Everyone else, go do your visiting teaching.
Bookends
I have very few friends from lives past that feel like home. Kie is one of those friends. We met while we both attended Foxcroft School, an all girls boarding school, many moons ago. We became the best of friends and then second semester we chose to be roommates. She is from Japan, but has lived all over the world, so we seldom see each other- but this week she came into town to see my family and me!
I thought she would want to be crazy busy doing all the Hollywood things but she said her biggest thing was just coming to hang out with the Zunigas. Oh my melty heart. We of course did touristy things, but we also just sat and hanged out and ate. Our favorite past time.
She arrived on Tuesday at LAX. That's about an hour from my house. Everything in LA is an hour from my house because I don't live in downtown, and even if we were in downtown it would probably still take us an hour, let's be honest. We came home, dropped off her GIANT suitcase and she gave us gifts, she's so cute. Then we went to Griffith Park and went through all the exhibits at the observatory and took a million selfies in front of the Hollywood. I really have never been anywhere in LA, so I enjoyed this as much as she did. Griffith Park is BEAUTIFUL! If we lived closer I would be there all the time. It was daytime when we went, but a night trip to the observatory is a "definite" on my bucket list. We have a little mountain near us with an impeccable view of the city, so I'm sure it's amazing from the observatory. And que romantico to go with the husband!
After that we went and walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not exciting. Stars in the cement with a bunch of people hustling tours and a crazy man that wouldn't pass us by, instead chose to walk at a snails pace with us in lieu of continuing around us. So we crossed the street and went into Juicy Wings... amazing milkshakes! and a much needed distraction from the crazy man.
From there we sat in an hours worth of traffic. My husband said he would be home by dinner time, so our goal was to be home in time to meet him. We got home and made some frozen pizzas, but when he got home he wanted to go to our favorite sushi place. It's delicious, but taking a Japanese native to American sushi did not sound amazing, so I was glad that when we showed up it was closed on Tuesdays. We googled a Korean BBQ place and took a chance. It was heavenly and we certainly ate our monies worth. I think we impressed our waiter.
The following day we had a lazy morning and then got a text from my husband as we were about to leave for the beach. He said the ports were closed and he didn't have any work for the day. So we went to pick him up and decided to drive down to San Diego because I don't really know LA and our agenda was to sleep on the beach and eat good Mexican food because that's hard to come by in Japan. So we went to Solana Beach, my absolute favorite, and Pizza Port for lunch. I highly recommend The Carlsbad if you're ever there. We took all kinds of darling selfies, but let's get real, we sat in our tent and napped while wearing jeans and let the Mr. attend to the children and frolic in the waves. He's the best!
We went to my momma's house because she is out of town and went and got all of our favorite Mexican foods and Peterson's Donuts, because you can't go into Escondido and not get them. That would be treason. Our feast consisted of: street tacos (pollo, asada, pastor), carne asada nachos, rolled tacos with guac and cheese, chichirrone-the kind in the sheet, and horchata. Very healthy.
Thursday was our most relaxed day. After taking the Mr. to work we went to CalPoly Pomona because apparently it's all the rage to have US College shirts in Japan because all the clothing companies have made their way over. So we needed to get Kie's twin brothers some sweatshirts. and We went to Wal-Mart before that because they also requested cheap socks for their birthday. Talk about easy to please, such boys. Then we were off to the MALL. Our other favorite past time is shopping. Shopping in DC, shopping in NY, so why wouldn't we shop in LA? Technically it was in Ontario, but that's ok too. She got a few things, and even got a discount because I was wearing green for St. Patty's day. AWESOME! and ice cream. All shopping days require a little ice cream. Then we came home to a smorgasbord of left overs and watched Miranda videos.
Then she left in the Morning. I cried the entire way from the airport home. I know I'll see her again, I've sworn to be in Japan by my next birthday. It's happening. I want to meet her family and husband so bad! But still. I was definitely sad to see her go. I love her, she's the cutest! See you soon!
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| Foxcroft Fall 2000 |
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| Dress up! |
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| As close as we got to the Hollywood sign |
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| Three of my favorite people in the universe! |
After that we went and walked the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not exciting. Stars in the cement with a bunch of people hustling tours and a crazy man that wouldn't pass us by, instead chose to walk at a snails pace with us in lieu of continuing around us. So we crossed the street and went into Juicy Wings... amazing milkshakes! and a much needed distraction from the crazy man.
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| Korean BBQ love |
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| Literal frolicking at ALL TIMES |
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| Pizza Port |
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| The most patient sister award goes to.... |
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| We found this random board come to shore and couldn't find the surfer, it was a scary couple minutes but he eventually came up. phew! |
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| This is how women in their 30's spend their time at the beach. hidden. in a tent... |
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| ...in jeans. hahaha |
We went to my momma's house because she is out of town and went and got all of our favorite Mexican foods and Peterson's Donuts, because you can't go into Escondido and not get them. That would be treason. Our feast consisted of: street tacos (pollo, asada, pastor), carne asada nachos, rolled tacos with guac and cheese, chichirrone-the kind in the sheet, and horchata. Very healthy. Thursday was our most relaxed day. After taking the Mr. to work we went to CalPoly Pomona because apparently it's all the rage to have US College shirts in Japan because all the clothing companies have made their way over. So we needed to get Kie's twin brothers some sweatshirts. and We went to Wal-Mart before that because they also requested cheap socks for their birthday. Talk about easy to please, such boys. Then we were off to the MALL. Our other favorite past time is shopping. Shopping in DC, shopping in NY, so why wouldn't we shop in LA? Technically it was in Ontario, but that's ok too. She got a few things, and even got a discount because I was wearing green for St. Patty's day. AWESOME! and ice cream. All shopping days require a little ice cream. Then we came home to a smorgasbord of left overs and watched Miranda videos.
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| family picture |
Monday, March 14, 2016
The 411
Hola!
Now that we have moved from Mesa, AZ to California I thought this would be a great way for me to stay connected, and also a great way for me to journal- because I'm fairly mediocre at it; as well as just "talk out loud," so to speak. I hope that this can be mostly a happy and real place- I have manic depression and sometimes things are not peaches and cream. That doesn't mean I'm not incredibly blessed and thankful for my trials, it means sometimes my search for happiness feels like I'm running on a hamster wheel. I'm LDS or Mormon, so a lot of my life has to do with serving in my church, raising my girls in a home that is Christ centered, and my growing faith through life experiences. You are free to skim over those if that's not your cup of tea (funny because Mormon's don't drink tea), I'm sure we'll have plenty of other adventures you'd like to read about. We homeschool, explore, live in 300 square feet, I've been married 10 years, and have two amazing daughters, I have zero answers to life's mysteries, but hopefully we can find some of those together.
Hasta la Pasta
Rosette
Now that we have moved from Mesa, AZ to California I thought this would be a great way for me to stay connected, and also a great way for me to journal- because I'm fairly mediocre at it; as well as just "talk out loud," so to speak. I hope that this can be mostly a happy and real place- I have manic depression and sometimes things are not peaches and cream. That doesn't mean I'm not incredibly blessed and thankful for my trials, it means sometimes my search for happiness feels like I'm running on a hamster wheel. I'm LDS or Mormon, so a lot of my life has to do with serving in my church, raising my girls in a home that is Christ centered, and my growing faith through life experiences. You are free to skim over those if that's not your cup of tea (funny because Mormon's don't drink tea), I'm sure we'll have plenty of other adventures you'd like to read about. We homeschool, explore, live in 300 square feet, I've been married 10 years, and have two amazing daughters, I have zero answers to life's mysteries, but hopefully we can find some of those together.
Hasta la Pasta
Rosette
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